I recently had a conversation with a younger colleague who came to me looking for advice.
We recently had our annual business conference, where the company hands out a small number of awards. Our company ranks within the top 5 in our industry worldwide, making recognition—and especially winning an award—exceptionally difficult. With around a thousand employees, only about 2% receive an award each year.
In an environment like this, it’s easy to feel discouraged.
You see others being praised and rewarded while you’re already working hard and achieving things, wondering how you’ll ever get there if you’re not even being noticed now. That frustration can turn into bitterness, resentment, and even hopelessness.
I call it “the bleakness.”
Thankfully, at almost 45 years old, I understand how the game works. I’ve had many younger colleagues come to me for advice recently, expressing frustration over their career progression, feeling like they’re not moving fast enough or that nothing significant is happening for them.
It would be easy to just say “be patient.” I’ve given that advice before, and I’ve learned it doesn’t land well.
I don’t say it anymore because if I were their age, I wouldn’t have wanted to hear it either. Ambitious people are driven, impatient, and eager for progress. Being told to wait feels like a dismissal or condescension, even when the advice comes from someone who has already reached where they want to be.
So instead, I offer different words now that carry the same message but resonate better:
Give yourself time.
Success in business—like promotions, recognition, and career growth—is a game. Would you expect to be in a winning position for the entire season just five minutes into the first game? Of course not. That would be absurd. To succeed over a season (and you could consider 5-10 years a season in terms of career), you need hard work and skill, yes, but you also need to understand the flow, observe the competition, recognise patterns and correct your mistakes.
The same applies to your career.
It takes years - not months, to truly understand how an organization works, who the key players are, and what makes an impact. No matter how hard you work or how ambitious you are, your influence will be limited at first. And that’s okay.
So, give yourself time…
To understand the business.
To identify the major influencers.
To learn why they hold influence.
To distinguish between what truly matters and what doesn’t.
To master your role so well that you can start seeing the bigger picture.
And if you’re not in the right place—the kind of workplace that aligns with your goals—then your first priority should be finding that place. Once you do, follow the process above.
Take it from someone who has burned out multiple times in a decade, trying to force progress too quickly. You can only rush the process so much before it backfires.
Be impatient in the short term—but patient in the long term.
Work hard every single day. Avoid wasting time. Give your best effort—and then some. But once you’ve done that, mentally step back. Trust the process and detach yourself from outcomes and recognition.
Instead of getting neurotic over progress:
Pay attention to the bigger picture.
Seek out opportunities that create leverage.
Build relationships and goodwill.
Learn from your and others’ mistakes
Most importantly? Enjoy all of it.
The moment you become bitter or resentful, it will show—like stink lines on a cartoon character. Remember, this is the great game. There will be highs and lows, but as long as you keep learning and improving, you’ll keep moving forward.
And finally, to add to that, even when you do start to work the game out, don’t do stuff just for recognition. It becomes obvious that you’re a validation seeker, wanting to be in the spotlight. It comes across as needy and is just as off-putting as resentment and bitterness is. Whatever you choose to go after, go after it because you want to, not because you’re looking for a reward.
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